I lose weight everyday.  I think I must gain it back at night or something.  I mean, seriously.  I have a theory.  I mean, I think I have a theory.  Okay, maybe it is not a theory, I just have always wanted to have a theory, so can we just call it a fricken theory, OKAY!!!???

Okay, here is my theory.  I wake up, right?  And I put on my pants.  Pants, that at the time of being put on, don't seem to need a belt.  I have done this several times...walked out of the house without a belt, cause my pants fit nice and snug on my butt.  Sometimes, I am mad about that, cause a week ago those same pants were too big...but I digress.  So, I walk out with nice snug pants on my bottom.  Oh, yea, I don't really care for the pants that sag all the way down my legs and folks looking at my underoos.  I don't wear boxers, so they would have been some plain old underoos.  And that is not cute. 

Anyhoo, my pants are nice and snug when I leave, right?  But something happens during the day...I LOSE WEIGHT.  I burn calories from running around...okay walking around...I don't do too much running, unless, of course, it is to catch a burger joint before they close.  But, hey, walking around burns calories, too, you know.  They say that you can burn like thousands of calories a day by just...you know...walking around.  And that I do.  So, as the day goes on and I burn calorie after calorie.  I am not sure how many calories I have to burn to start losing weight, but I must burn a lot of them, cause my pants start to sag.  They start falling off my waist like I was a gangsta.  I walk past gangstas in the morning and they want to shoot me, I walk past them in the night time and they want to give me weed.  It is crazy.  I am a gangsta looking, saggin', calorie burning, weight losing homie at night.

So that is my theory.  I mean, I have walked out the house too many times and done the same thing too many times not to call this a study.  Wow.  I have sorta like kinda like done a fricken study.  And it always comes back positive.  I should take these reports to TIME magazine or something.  CNN?  Obama?  Someone needs to hear this.  Consider yourself lucky that I am talking to you first...don't let anyone know of my findings.  I will leak them to the press in a couple days.  I am counting on you.  If you tell, I am gonna have to get my gangsta friends at night to kill you. 

But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. 

Keep it Natural.